Relapse

 Oh my.

The granulomatosis with polyangiitis has relapsed.

I should have moved more quickly with the tests, but every pain seemed to have a logical orgin other than GPA.

As it is, insurance was more of a hold up than most of the other stuff.

This time started with ear ache - pain in TMJ (?) joint - couldn't open mouth to brush teeth. Thought it was connected to lifting 40 lb. lime bags. Docs tell you not to lift more than 5 lbs. if you have some sort of facial medical stuff going on. Just thought it was strain.

Ear ache came next. Again, thought it connected to cleaning basement, breathing dust, stuffy sinuses. Went to Urgent Care about it. Explained my GPA. She cleaned out my ear, said I was clear, gave ear drops just in case cleaning my ear stirred up some bacteria.

Went to Allison @ Novant - explained my GPA - told her that Dr. Greenwood does blood tests. She did the one, but had no idea what an ANCA was, so she didn't order it. After results came back - took from Tuesday 'til Thursday!!! - no protein and blood in urine, creatinine up, but no ANCA. Called Catherine's VM to ask for tests. No response from her. Girl checking Catherine's VM called to ask about symptoms, said she would contact Dr. G. Dr. G called Thursday night and prescribed prednisone - said I'd hear from Catherine tomorrow about setting up Rituxan. Friday, appt girl called to set up appt with Dr. G on Monday.

Monday - Dr. G. - he asked: When's your Rituxan? I had not heard ANYTHING about it.

Tuesday - Catherine called to say she was trying to set it up, but waiting for insurance authorization.

Wednesday - 11:00 am - Catherine called to give dates/times for infusions.

I think I'm done.

There is absolutely ZERO purpose to continue this unknown journey.

I have ZERO positive effect on ANYTHING in this world. 

My departure would leave no hole. Seriously, next relapse, let's just let this run its course.

Survival time with kidney failure is about ???? 

I have long-term care insurance to check me into a facility. Let them deal with the pain, but why put effort into a losing cause? 

????

Now, really, why haven't I been using this blog for the past 9 years - or so. The last post looks as if 2015 was my last blog post.
Today is the January 2, 2020. Mike has lost his job and has applied for disability. Sam has no job and is getting ready to return to school - this time for an Associate's degree as a Medical Laboratory Technician. Both are here with me. I'm a single parent with 2 dependent children.
Last year and the end of 2018 was a tough time. My autoimmune system decided to attack my kidneys and my hearing. I had 2 iron infusions to counteract the loss of blood. Endured a 6 month course of prednisone, had 4 rituxin infusions, and am now on azasan - an anti-rejection drug. From October 4 until November 13, 2018, I was out of school because I couldn't stand up long enough and could not drive because of the dizziness and weakness. THANK GOODNESS Sam was here to help. I would have had to go to assisted living if she had not been here.
Goose and I are trying to update Mama and Daddy's house - it's on the verge of being a money pit, but it's SO hard to even think about doing anything other than patching it up to make it more livable. We're almost ready to paint the living room.

and time doesn't stop

 I am consistent with my inconsistency in posting ruminations to this blog. I can't explain it.

So much has happened since I last wrote - that was January 2, 2020!

I retired from my teaching career effective August 1, 2021. Began in 1971, so that's a pretty long run. IF teaching were still anything similar to past years, I would definitely have stayed at least until my National Boards ran out at the end of this year, but wowsers! nothing is the same. Maybe I'll write a whole post about that - there's so much to say.

Sammie is staying on Poverty Knob with friend Chad Davis. She has one more semester of Central Piedmont Community College's Medical Laboratory Technician clinicals to finish at Watauga Medical Center.

Mikey is still unemployed and seems to be spiraling downward in several ways. His personality has been adversely affected by medication and/or depression. He's not the happy, joking, cheerful Mikey that I know. His eating has changed - he seems to just not care about what's for dinner. He used to request or at least add input for the planning. So I'm concerned about his physical health. He's using up all his savings. I can't see any progress toward mitigating the situation. He won't even begin to discuss his medical, financial, or employment situation. I offer help. "What can Mommie do to help you?" Mike: "Nothing." I want my old Mikey back, but I have no earthly idea what I can do. I am distraught.

The Harrison Estate is shaping up a little. Larry and Barbara have footed the bill for cleaning up the area around the houses. Quite a contribution!!! to say the least.

I've tried to fix up Mom and Daddy's house to make it a little more habitable. Inside is all painted - even the closets! Just need to finish my room after all the "collectibles" get redistributed. Downstairs floors were refinished - they look AMAZING! Added a heat pump and two mini-splits to keep the climate under control. The dehumidifier in the basement has helped tremendously in reducing the mustiness, mold, and mildew. The back porch still needs to be addressed. Harold is working on finishing up the exterior painting.

My dear, dear friend Kendal Privette's husband, Chris, used his magic to make a wormy chestnut table for the dining room. Mike and I took a truck load of the wormy chestnut boards salvaged from the old smokehouse and maybe the outhouse to Chris. He built a table and a little bench. We LOVE it. I just wish Daddy could see it because he wanted so much to do something with the wormy chestnut. He had held on to it and protected it all these years.

I cleaned off the gravestone for Momma and Daddy yesterday. I miss them so much - still crying.

Mundane stuff over the weekend

Barbara has a new cat! She has adopted (pretty sure it will stick) Loki, a HUGE yellow tabby, from the Humane Society. We picked him up yesterday. He is so sweet, so cuddly, so BIG.

I attended the Unitarian service yesterday via Zoom. Stuff to think about, but not anything to initiate a paradigm shift. The original guy was sick (local guy), so the program was a video of a Unitarian minister in Texas. His gist: you are perfect, now change. There was some discussion of the meaning of this. The analogy that fit best for me was the guy who compared it to an acorn - perfect at every stage, but change was critical to fulfilling true purpose.

Saturday I attended the Wilkes Democratic Party meeting. They went over some agenda items and talked a little about how to get more recognition in this DEEP RED county. Sad that so many people in this county are so stupid.

Sam and Chad are in Florida visiting Chad's step-father.

Johanna seems to be improving. She has been moved to a different room. I'm pretty sure she has a roommate now in 304A - there has to be a B in there.

I called Bob last week. So good to talk to him. I wish he could/would be more present in our lives. Sad. He sounded good. All vaccinated and boosted.

A different feel to a new school year.  Now appearing in a new location: room 806.  It's a good place to be.  I'm lucky to have escaped the chaos created by the no-team teaming in 7th grade.  I'm especially glad that I am with Kendal.  Missing Dianna's quiet humor and Mollie's loud juxtaposition.
I'm trying to return to what works.  It's more difficult than one might assume.  I have to juggle the tested benchmark standards among my plans for reading and writing.  IF the kids had had a solid foundation in writing and reading prior to now, things wouldn't be so hard.  It's a fine line between mandating a curriculum and ensuring kids have consistency and continuity in learning. The standards are still way too broad given what the kids have had in the preceding years.

I want to start a system of greater accountability for independent reading.  It needs to be manageable, and I need to actually have the time to teach/model it for the kids.  WHEN??

I need to teach some argument writing stuff. Need to get that together tonight.

Happy Birthday, Daddy

What a great birthday party for Daddy on his 90th birthday. Goose and I had been cautiously apprehensive about the attendance - due to distances as well as the weather during the previous week. Our worries were swept away. The weather was perfect, and people came from all over - Azalea, Gary, and Gleason were a big surprise. Azalea had written Daddy a letter detailing her physical challenges over the past few months and explaining that she would not be able to come. Gary lives in Winston, but we had not seen him in ages, Gleason lives in Virginia. They came. Bobby Cale and Pat came with Mark and John from Virginia. Bruce came from Charlotte. The neighbors came, the poker people came, the ROMEO club came, and the church people came. We had at least 80 guests. Daddy was surprised - and, thankfully, pleased -- with the turn out. He went home with a basket of cards and the guest book to peruse. He called last night. "I apologize," he said. "It was better than I thought it would be." Yeah.
Bob was conspicuously missing.
Goose did a great job of planning and arranging. I had written stuff that I wanted to say - too much, but I just needed to say it. I'll be remembered for something - and the ramblings will be it.
Mikey came on Wednesday from Oceanside/LA for the party. He's my Mikey. I wish he were closer, but he has friends there that he would miss. He is going home this morning.
It was a great time. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and the party. I'm so grateful.

Finished Deep Dream

I officially am DONE with Deep Dream of the Rain Forest by Malcolm Bosse. Since there is always a positive in something negative, I will say that I can use this as an example of an author "telling not showing." I'm going to get a copy of Walkabout and find similar events or encounters to use alongside excerpts I pull from this book. Internal conflict for Harry is, of course, a crucial part of the story. He is torn between staying with the Iban and returning to life in England. He's torn between seeing the native tribes as uncivilized colonial possessions and seeing them as human beings who are bound closely with nature and respect for life. HOWEVER, surely Bosse could have woven this into a STORY rather than a report!
I'm on my way to Daddy's now. I'll finish this later and maybe have a Daddy story to document.
Later....
Back from Daddy's. But I'm not in the mood to review that book.
Looking forward to our Harrison-side Thanksgiving tomorrow. I brought home a bag of potatoes from the apple house to make mashed potatoes. I've made a quick and easy pumpkin pie. My jobs for tomorrow: ham, g-beans, mashed potatoes, dressing, and rolls.
Even later....
Been to WalMart, stopped at Goose's to pick up the ham and a pan of rolls. I'm all set. And now I'm going to bed.